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ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR Vs AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR

Assertive , Aggressive , Behaviour ,Case


ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR Vs AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR –
A CASE STUDY EXPLANATION

In Adequate behaviour:
Assertive difficulties lead to inadequate behaviour . If you are basically Non Assertive , you come on too weak. Because You Don’t stand up for Yourself , You feel Hurt , anxious and self contemptuous. Your deficient actions and reactions produce feelings of contempt in others.
]b]Coverse Behaviour:[/b]
Conversely you behave AGGRESSIVELY and come on too strong. Because of various life experiences you are so filled with Hurts and angers that a major core of your psychological organization , centres around the goal of hurting others. Sometimes out of vindictiveness and other times out of perceived need to defend yourself.

Disrupted communication:
While this aggressive behaviour may accomplish your end temporarily , in most cases it leads to disrupted communication with friends , calls forth counter aggression from others and tends to make you even more aggressive. This reverberating circuit keeps you on the Neurotic spiral

By contrast , properly assertive behaviour does not always result in the accomplishment of your desired goals , but it does lead to a good feeling about yourself.

When things do not work out you may feel DISAPPOINTED , but you will not feel IRRATIONALLY HOSTILE .

Let us take this case study and see what appropriate assertive response might be :

CASE :

The Teacher Calls Mrs. BEN to School and in a conference tells her that her Seven year old Daughter does not pay attention in Class and behaves terribly – All because Mrs. BEN has NOT brought up her Daughter in a Disciplined way .

THE VARIOUS RESPONSES TO THIS COMPLAINT:

UNASSERTIVE RESPONSE :

Mrs. BEN says ,” Yes . You are Right . She does need more discipline at Home. Send us a note every time she misbehaves. Meanwhile we forbid her to watch TV at Night ."

That night She turns off TV , yells at Daughter , brushes aside his attempt to explain , send her to bed supper less . And She lies awake all night .

In this case Her Daughter learned that Her Needs and Feelings don’t matter . She feels either that she is Bad or the World is unfair . In either case She is being taught to be helpless.

AGGRESSIVE RESPONSE :

Mrs. BEN responds , “ You just do not understand my Daughter. From what I have heard you are a Terrrible Teacher. Iam Going to talk to the Principal about thisand get my Daughter transferred to the Mrs.Mary’s class. She is a Good Teacher.”
Mrs.BEN does talk to the Principal and syas nothing to her Daughter who is transferred.
Daughter learns that She has no say over whatever happens to her. That her needs and feelings are irrelevant. She begins to feel that She lives in an unreasonable world.

ASSERTIVE RESPONSE:
Mrs BEN says ,’ Let me talk to my Daughter about it. Next week I will come with some ideas.”

That Night She has a long discussions with her Daughter and Husband and discovers that a Boy in Class has bullied her. As a result She felt upset.

Mrs. Ben goes back to the School and discuss this with the Teacher and see what can be done.

Because of her assertive actions her Daughter learns that What He feels and thinks are important to others and can influence what Happens.

She also has the experience of having a constructive communication with her parents and the model of the constructive working out of a problem by her Mother.

The above situation should give the idea of the appropriate assertive response .

C.EASHWER – SINGAPORE
eashwer@pacific.net.sg

Published: 2006-06-09
Author: Chockalingam Eswaramurthi

About the author or the publisher
Iam a Professional writer dedicated to sharing the knowledge on topics of Public interest, be it Management , Leadership , Social service , World Politics , Personalities , Industries , Health , Computers , Policy making , Governments , Book review etc., Iam from Singapore . My e mail id is : eashwer@pacific.net.sg

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