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Dating Sucks!

Dating, Relationship, Divorce, Marriage

Dating Sucks

I hate to date because it sucks. You never know what the other person is thinking. You might say something stupid and not realize it. I hate the process of dating. As far as I'm concerned the whole process is contrived, fake, and full of obligatory gestures. Plus, there's always the fights over who owes who and criticisms of your mannerisms, clothes, friends, etc. (at least when young).Or let's put it this way, I hate the modern western-society courtship ritual. From a sociological standpoint, I think it is unnecessarily complicated, too often misleading, and it doesn't work. If it did work, Americans wouldn't have a 58% divorce rate in their country (likewise in Nigeria the rate of divorce is increasing!).
The entire procedure is so stressful and time-consuming that it makes us wonder if it is really worth it. If this is what it takes to find a mate, I'd almost rather be single.

Movies and television have tricked us into thinking dating is fun and exciting. Maybe you will spend the evening in a deep, meaningful conversation and time will fly by. Perhaps your companion will be a regular comedian and you will be in stitches all night long. Or maybe the person sitting across from you will be so pleasing to look at it won't matter what they say, so visually engaged are you. On television, people come home from dates gushing to roommates about the wonderful time they had and how it must be love. Sadly, most real-life dates are veiled in a cloud of insufferable awkwardness.

But for personal reasons, I hate it even more. To me dating is like and excruciatingly long job interview, for a position you really want, only with more emotions. You are essentially trying to figure out whether or not this person is worthy of being part of your life. Are they appropriately educated? What are their personal interests and goals? Do they match yours? The difference, of course, is that interviewers get to look at the interviewees' résumés before they meet. The whole process would surely be easier if while exchanging phone numbers and email addresses, we also exchanged CVs. Seriously. “It might actually help”.

Being a man, I hate standing around looking for signs that a woman is "approachable". I hate going through the animalistic rituals of getting her attention, of "making a good impression" and of setting up the first date. While in the early stages of a dating relationship, I hate the constant uncertainty, the never knowing what the other person is thinking, the "when is too soon to call, I don't want to scare her away by being too eager" routine. What I'd really like to do is just wake up one morning, turn my head and find a reasonably attractive, very intelligent wife has appeared overnight, and just stick with her the rest of my life.
But of course that's not going to happen. So what are my alternatives? To continue functioning in a farcical ritual that I find unpleasant and am convinced does not work? Or is there another way to find a mate without having to deal with the rituals of courtship?

Well, for me the only alternative to dating is a well arranged marriage. Only early marriage can help us on campus where girls almost go naked with no shame. Explain to your parents and avoid wasting your time, money, and dignity on a person who will not marry you. If you fornicate instead of marriage you will surely regret it both in this world and the next.
Published: 2009-06-23
Author: Yakub Olalekan

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