"Should I forgive him"? This is a question I have heard over and over again. Some people will say, "You don't understand what he did to me". While others will asked questions like, "He raped me when I was a child and shattered my life.Should I still forgive him"? "He killed my parents before my very presence. Should I forgive him"? "She disappointed me and married someone else. Should I forgive her"? "I caught her in bed with my best friend in our matrimonial home. Should I forgive her"? And so on. I have also asked similar question in time past. My answer to this question,"Should I forgive him"?, is "YES"! Bear with me a little.I will explain to you the reason why I said yes.
But first of all,what does it mean,to forgive? I am glad you asked that question. To forgive means to overlook a fault or debt. It also means, to be no longer angry with someone over an offense committed against you.
Several time we claim to have forgiven people,but in the actual fact, we have not. I've discovered that at times we don't know how hurt we are and how unforgiven we are until something happens again. I was discussing with a lady sometime ago. I told her that God said that I should ask her to forgive her husband,no matter what he has done to her. She told me that she has forgiven him long ago. She said that she has nothing against him.But recently,she visited him and there was something he did to provoke her. She said that was when she discovered how much she hates him and how much pain she still feels about what he did to her. She said that she now realize that she has not yet truly forgiven him.
Forgiveness is one of the hardest thing to do on earth. But I've also discovered that it is one of the greatest remedy for our malady. I know that a lot of us have been hurt, betrayed, deceived, cheated, abused, disappointed by some people at one time or the other. Some of such offense happened even when we were children. And over the years we have harbored anger,bitterness,hatred and unforgiveness in our heart without knowing it. Somehow our lives might have been affected without our knowledge. It has been scientifically proven that some organs of our bodies are emotionally induced. This is to say that there are some organs in our bodies that are influenced by our emotions. A woman who has unforgiveness and bitterness in her heart can have difficulty in getting pregnant. Unforgiveness can affect a person psychologically and emotionally. It can cause you to withdraw from people. And even make you to develop phobia. Unforgiveness can also be the primary cause of some diseases and illnesses. Spiritually, a persons spiritual growth can be affected by unforgiveness.
God told me some time ago that there are some people who are looking for miracles, healing and deliverance without success because of unforgiveness. He said that they can't have what they are looking for until they are willing to forgive wholeheartedly. Unless we release the people we have taken captive and locked up in the prison of our heart, there are some miracles,healing,breakthroughs that we can never receive.
The first step in bringing about healing to a wounded and hurting heart is forgiveness.
There are some of us who are badly hurting as a result of what somebody did to us several years ago. But the recommended remedy for such malady is forgiveness. Job only got blessed in Job 42:10, after he had forgiven and prayed for his friends. Also in Matthew 6:14, the bible says that "For if ye forgive men their trespasses,your heavenly father will also forgive you". You can see that forgiveness is a divine command.
See my friend, the fact that you are asked to forgive those who have hurt you is primarily for your own good. If you truly love yourself, you will forgive those who have offended you, so that you can enjoy freedom. But as long as you keep people in the prison of your heart, you also make yourself a prisoner. Unforgiveness is a very good breeding ground for hatred,bitterness,revenge,anger etc. An unfogiving person will always hurt. And a hurting person will also want to hurt other people. I beg you to forgive people for your own sake.
After all, "To err is human,but to forgive is divine".