E M S OF PARENTING AND OTHER TIPS :
This article will give clues to parents to adopt methods that are time tested and enable parenting children with a sense of belonging and well being coupled with secured feelings.
GEMS – It is Genuine Encounter Moments:
This is nothing but LISTENING sincerely to our kids. With our mechanized life , are we doing this ? It is vital that Feelings are neither right or Wrong . We have to give an absolute LISTENING EAR to our kids. This exactly motivating the children internally. This builds the so called SELF ESTEEM. If our children are disciplined in this respect, they will not turn to anti social activities like Drugs, Sex, Gangs etc etc.
Surveys say that we give hundreds of Compliance requests and instructions on “TO DO” and also “NOT TO DO” things. No wonder our children will become PARENT DEAF.
EMPOWER THE KIDS:
We can ask their opinions , views , ideas and advices so that they feel they are cared and their importance is demonstrated. If we do not do this they will find inappropriate ways to get that power – which will make their presence felt. Spoon feeding also some times works opposite to this move . For example : If the child forgets to bring the School badge to the School , Do not rush to go to School and give . Leave it to him so that He gets the chance to learn from that incident so that He becomes more cautious next time . By spoon feeding they lose this opportunity.
Let there be a Logic always in our actions to them so that they understand the PATTERN of PARENTING and start accepting our actions. It is also our duty to explain the Logic behind our actions and convince them.
AVOID CONFLICTING SITUATIONS:
Incase of Temper tantrum behavior or dis respectful expressions it is better to immediately leave the place or avoid the situations than COUNTER ATTACK. Do not leave in Anger or defeat.
DO NOT PERSONALISE – SEPARATE THE DOER FROM DEEDS:
Never tell a child He is WRONG. The same is told by DALE CARNEGIE inhuman RELATION PRINCIPLES that “NEVER TELL A MAN HE IS WRONG ” The same applies to CHILDREN also. In order for a child to have a healthy self esteem, He must know that He is loved unconditionally no matter what He does. Do NOT motivate your child by withdrawing your Love from him. Ask your self, DID MY DISCIPLINE BUILD MY CHILD’D SELF ESTEEM?
MINDSET ON SITUATIONAL CONTROL:
Many times we parent with a mind set that we bring the situation under control by taking measures. We need to think of the future and do . For example, if we spank our child, He will learn to use acts of aggression to get what He wants when He grows up.
We also need to stand firmly on agreed terms with kids. Never give a chance to negotiate things which will give the child a chance to break and plead. Your child will learn to respect you more if you mean what you say.
It is important that we discipline them in a way that teaches responsibility by motivating internally to build their self-esteem and make them feel loved.
C.EASHWER( 1 Isolu)