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How to deal with infidelity in a marriage. Part 1.

Infidelity, pity, marriage, marrying out of pity.

Infidelity is the mother of all matrimonial woes that has destroyed many marriages and still counting. A spouse can tolerate any rubbish from a mate, but not infidelity. Infidelity is firstly an insult to your mate and secondly an assault to the very foundation of your marriage. Any marriage that could not collapse under the bombardment of infidelity cannot under any other force. There are two major kinds of infidelity that could happen in any marriage. The first category is Intentional, and the second is Conditional.

We shall begin with Intentional Infidelity where a mate is aware long before "Yes, I do" that he or she was going to cheat on his or her mate. Here infidelity is premeditated, a carry over from dating or courtship, a purposeful act. Now, let us examine one of the ways of avoiding intentional infidelity:

Nothing can push one to infidelity more than marrying someone they didn't really love, marrying out of pity. Refuse to marry a man who feels he's doing you a favor or else you're going to have to deal with infidelity in your marriage. A man who married you out of pity or guilt for what you've been through with him is likely going to cheat on you. Same holds true for a woman.

Don't allow the money a man has expended on you (maybe your education) and perhaps your family be the reason for marrying him. All the money he expended on you will amount to nothing if you don't feel anything for him. Because money can't buy love. You will always go where your heart is and cheat on him there. Our body can be wherever it pleases, but we will always take it to where our heart belongs. Don't insist on marrying a woman who doesn't love you simply because you have spent quit a lot on her. Nor should you insist on marrying a man who doesn't love you just because you have been through thick and thin with him. Marriage curve does not always follow such patterns. Because men and women who married out of pity or guilt will more than likely cheat on their mates. Pity/guilt - provoked marriages are bound to suffer from infidelity, take it or leave it. So, be man or woman enough to say NO to somebody you don't want to spend the rest of your life with. A stitch in time saves nine, you know. Marrying out of pity is like wanting to eat your cake and still have it. Desist from such greed.
Published: 2009-04-06

About the author or the publisher
I was born in the throes of the Nigeria civil war to Mr ad Mrs J.U. Onyeukwu. I am the third son in a family of seven with a total of four sons. My Dad insisted on education being the only hope of the poor till the day he died. I believe i must have drawn my intellectual strength from my Mom who was a genius when it comes to petty trading. I have the Knack for writing great works of the nature never before seen in religion, home and family, and human relationship.

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