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Saying no choice is already a choice

choice

When I was young, I never let anybody hurt me. I grew up strong. I always aim for what I think is best. I tried bagging all the gold medals in almost all the quiz bees and speech competitions during my elementary and high school days. I always want to win in every battle of life.

People in our province who experience visiting Manila always told me that all the great opportunities can only be find there. That is the reason why I dreamed of studying in Manila particularly in famous schools like UP Diliman, UST, La Salle, and Ateneo that promise a quality education and a better future.

I am one of the thousands of aspiring college students who took the UPCAT but unfortunately I missed the opportunity to study in UP Diliman because the course that I chose is a quota course. They offered a slot for UPLB but I rejected the offer because Los Bas is also really too far from Manila. I then took an examination to my second choice, University of Sto. Thomas but with the same fate, I was not able to study there. I took examinations to different prestigious Colleges and Universities in Manila like St. Scolastica, Letran, Adamson, PUP, UE and many more. To cut the long story short, I haven't enrolled to any mentioned colleges and universities.

It was already May when I get tired of scouting a school for college that would meet the standards I set. During that time, I already lose hope. I thought that I will never find the best school for me. But of course, I do not want to study again in the province or stop for a year either so even if I do not want, before the classes started in June, I enrolled in an exclusive school which I never heard in my entire life. That was the first time I felt, I was a loser ・that I was defeated by the time and some other inevitable circumstances. My dreams vanish because eventhough this is not what I want, I have no choice・but to accept it.

My first day in school is not so horrible except for the first activity that we had. It was a short speech that would answer the question: Why did I choose to study in that school?

I was really impressed to the speeches delivered by almost half of the class. I told myself: Of course they know this school because they are the loyalty awardees from the high school department!・And when I glance at my professor's reaction, she was so astonished to their speeches, which implied that she is expecting more. That slowly kills my veins. I was really frighten that I cannot think of answer to the question. I only heard the school when I had my entrance exam. Though a stranger, I enrolled... What a perdition!

Until my professor called Ms. Atienza. The nerves of my ears hastily run up to my brain and said yeah its you! I stand and walk in front of the class with a blunt face. I pause for a while because of nervousness. My knees shake and hit each other. I cannot even control the movement of my hands and lips that is so electrifying. Everyone stares at me which made my brain freeze. I felt so uncomfortable that is why my cheeks blushed like a fresh red tomato. I almost cried.

And after a few seconds, my tongue utter two simple words... No choice・

Total silence empowers the four corners of the classroom. Everyone was so disappointed most especially those who were really proud of the school. Their looks strike at me as if I committed a heinous crime. But what should I say? I enrolled there because I do not have any choice and that is the truth.

Every time we get together or gatherings with high school friends, I do not talk. I chose to listen to their stories about college life and them being proud studying in the school that they dreamed of because I do not know anything about my school aside from its history which was given as an assignment to us for several times. One time, they asked me to talk about something about my school. I almost had a lecture about its brief history, where it was located, etcetera. But still they do not know about my school and even asked me if that exists. (So embarrassing... This is not really me! I was once the renowned character in every conversation that we had in our high school days.) Because of that experience, I never cede to prove something ・that I can still study in UP Diliman.

After ten months of preparation to transfer in Diliman, my mom disagreed because I have a good rank in the honor roll. She insisted me to stay there. What can I do? I have no choice but to follow her because I am just asking money from her.

After enrolling for the next school year, I told myself that I really do not have any choice but to face my fate. I tried to get to know the school. I participated to different extra-curricular activities and started appreciating the small campus that we have. Until I was given a chance to become part of the official student publication of the school which gave me an automatic affiliation to different academic and non-academic organizations and their activities.

Maybe at this point of time, I conquered all the disappointments, extreme sadness and dashing hopes because I am still here and what is good is that two months from now I will be receiving the priceless reward of my adversities. I got to know my alma mater, cherished it, and become proud. The feeling that I had before for my school is extremely the irony of the feeling that I have right now. That is the reason why when I will be given a chance to turn back time - if my professor in my first English class would again ask me why did I choose to study there, I will NEVER answer the same words.

Perhaps, fate is not a matter of chance but a choice. Maybe if I studied in other school, I won't be able to become a well-rounded individual. I won't be able to realize the real essence of quality education. Of course, I won't be able to visit Taiwan and proudly represent my school and our country. Maybe I won't be a successful individual - intellectually, morally and spiritually.

No regrets. San Sebastian College-Recoletos Manila really provides a quality Catholic-Christian Education. It is where you can find silent hard workers with passion for excellence. SSC-R taught me to understand the true sense of using the expression 渡o choice・

We often say no choice・whenever they give up, surrender on battles of life or miss something that is really important. But the reality is that saying no choice does not mean that you are a loser or you missed all the opportunities in life. Saying no choice does not also mean that you will never find an alternative; instead saying 渡o choice・means choosing a better alternative.

It is not true that I have no choice when I study in SSC-R, instead it is the best choice that I did in my life. It is like: When someone asks you why you surrender all your possessions to a hold-upper, probably you would say you have no choice because a sharp knife or a gun was at your back. Well, you are totally wrong. It is not true that you have no choice; rather you choose your life in exchange of money. And that is the best choice that you did!

Don't be afraid to say No choice・..
Published: 2007-04-20
Author: Lovely Jane D. Atienza

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