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The heart of an african man

extra marital affairs, love in the contest of Hiv/AIDS.

The definition of a human being is the heart.”

Just as the biological heart is the centre of all human life, the centre of all human activities is also called the heart. Stop AIDS keep the promise’ is the popular message today. However, we haven’t explored the intricacies of ‘the heart of the Africans’. How is the subject of infidelity in marriages looked at?

For many of us to “stop AIDS and to keep the promise”, the issue of faithfulness must continue to be preached. Nevertheless faithfulness cannot be preached in isolation without touching on the matter of education. Many African men though married have extra marital affairs. Let’s just face the facts. As a result of this it becomes very difficult for them to accept the fact of being faithful to one partner who happens to be their wife.

In one of the workshops I conducted, women agreed that when they are pregnant they freely and willingly agree that their husbands can have extra marital affairs (including those who claimed to be Christians!) because they felt that men cannot be restricted to one woman. In other words culture teaches us that man can escape the marriage vows without any serious punishment.

The estimated ratio of six [6] women to one [1] man also pauses a challenge to both the men and women because those who are not married need the services of the men, regardless of the man’s marital status. So the heart of the human problem is the problem of the human heart.

In order to stop AIDS, we must learn how to keep the promise. Men should relearn their old ways in order to be faithful to their wives. Spinsters should also stop enticing other people’s husbands. Wives should also help their husbands to remain true to their marriage vows by being cooperative when it comes to issues of sex which force men to leave their homes.
Published: 2007-01-12
Author: philemon chiswamo

About the author or the publisher
What is true love if one may ask? Is it only about kissing each other in public places, is it holding each other’s hand when walking, is it about opening doors of the car to each other, is it about sitting next to each other and patting each other’s back (even if you are in church where you are required to concentrate on God!), is it all about expressing one’s feelings by giving flowers and those cards full words that one hardly means (in a long term relationship at least)? Should we limit true love to these things only?

No! Of course not. Though some of these things earlier mentioned may be some expressions of love, true love resides in the heart of an individual. My argument is if you check the divorce rate for these countries where the so called “true love” is, you will be shocked to learn that there is no love at all. Marriages are contracts not permanent institutions any longer. Some may argue that African women don’t enjoy marriage life but they just endure in there (shipikisha club). Whichever the case could be, for them (African women) to endure in those marriages, it means they have learned over the years good conflict resolution skills.

However, let us look at the HIV/AIDS situation in marriages. Should couples file in for divorce because his/her spouse is HIV/AIDS positive or they should continue living together when we know that the risk of contracting HIC virus even by using the condom is quite high? It is interesting to note that many Africans especially women have hanged in there on the basis of “for better for worse vow”. Yes, lovers ought to share a Nsole in all situations

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